I’ve had a lot of time to think lately, observe my mind and study it. Sometimes this can be destructive but it can also be constructive.
I’ve noticed that nearly every time I look at the clock it is 11.11 or 12.12 or 1.11 or 3.33. I have been told that this means that you are in the ‘right place’ doing what you are meant to be doing, that your life is on track, yet I’m feeling disconnected in many ways. The Camino has turned my life upside down and it teases me with its siren song luring me back there over and over again. How can I bring it’s sense of peace and fulfillment into my everyday life?
I hang out at an ashram at home and regularly bathe in it’s bliss. It has been a part of my life for nearly 20 years and I love everyone there. I miss it terribly when I’m away.
The closest thing to this I have found is the province if Galicia with its myths and legends, it’s ‘thin spaces’ and its mystical atmosphere. It swallows me as I walk among the moss covered forests, it engulfs me with its ‘familiarity’. Someone said to me yesterday that I must have been a Druid in my past life. I laughed at first but it may make some sense. My grandfather was high up in the druids. He wore cloaks and was obsessed with myths and legends. This man was extremely intelligent. He was a scholar, spoke several languages, was a headmaster of an elite boys grammar school, a university lecturer and a respected man in his community. He was not a hippy or an airhead. Did he know something else? Did he actually tap into this type of mysticism because he felt the ‘pull’? I’m not about to wear the cloaks, dress up and dance around a fire (don’t think he ever did that), but it does fascinate me. I wish he was here so I could talk to him.
I have had some interesting people in my life. People, who have taught me through good and bad experiences, that satisfaction and fulfillment only come with not hard work but in just letting things ‘be’…. not to judge others, to listen and respect their opinions and the way they live their lives, to just be kind, loving and accepting.
This is not always easy, but it took me many years to work this out. I now live my life, and this has brought the ‘right’ people into my circle. Everyday, I have conversations and experiences that enrich my being, and I just feel so privileged to know you all.
My friends challenge me in a productive way, they stir my inquisitive mind and I love learning from them instead of being the ‘teacher’ myself. (I used to attract needy people.)
Just this weekend has been full of meaningful moments, and I devour and appreciate every second spent with the special people I have shared them with.
When I look at my old friendships, the ones that go back sometimes even to childhood, I see that they ‘got’ me all along and you, my special peeps, are gold. You saw what I could not. Thank you
So this brings me to another question….how do I fill my remaining years after retirement? We don’t know how long we have on this earth. I actually look forward to future conversations, trips overseas and sharing with friends…something that the old introvert that has left my body would have cringed at!
I’m wandering freely, breathing fresh air, I have an open mind and I’m loving the experience, the friendships and gentle kindness that surrounds me. I am so very lucky indeed.
I guess I’m trying to say that I’m loving the wisdom that age brings